Building positive relationships with parents of young children: a guide to effective communication

List of figures

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Part I. Laying the foundations of communication

1. Working in partnership with parents

What do we mean when we use the term 'parents'?

How parental involvement in Early Years has changed over sixty years

What is happening today

Being clear about boundaries and core values

Cultural diversity

When parents are friends, neighbours or employers

Acknowledgement is essential

2. What do we mean by communication?

The difference between 'tuning in' and 'communication'

A definition of communication

Communication involves entering into a relationship

The influence of technology

Communication from the heart

Building relationships of trust

The energies of emotion

How the energy of fear is communicated

How the energy of love is communicated

Beware of touch as a communication of fear

The taboo of the 'love' word

You are doing the most valuable work there is

3. Listening - the number one communication skill

Remembering the words we hear

What does listening involve?

The seven personal qualities of the good listener

Wearing the 'worried look'

The power of positive pretence

Barriers to listening

Becoming an active listener

Something to reflect upon

4. Developing personal and social competence

Being aware of your ego

The Emotional Competence Framework

Four stages of competence

Symbolic and non-symbolic communication

Dress and personal appearance

Body posture and eye contact

5. How to feel OK

Defining a transaction

Parent mode, Child mode and Adult mode

Understanding the different modes in action

The problem of the Parent-Child modes of communication

The four life positions

Getting to I'm OK and You're OK: how to create Adult-Adult modes of communication '

Part II. Communication skills in context

6. How to give shape and meaning to conversations with parents and carers in Early Years settings

Structure is an everyday skill which is transferable

The reflective practitioner

What practitioners say at workshops about their ability to work closely with parents

What might parents gain from such a conversation?

What might practitioners hope to gain from such a conversation?

What are the key principles for engaging successfully with parents so that children make progress?

Getting started

Moving on - the exploratory, information seeking phase continued

Beginning to focus on the purpose of the session

Using the framework for an initial meeting

Being creative with the process as a whole staff team

Protecting spaces to think together

7. Delighting in the parents and carers of pre-school children at points of transition

Supporting parents at the point of transition

So, what may have gone wrong on- this occasion?

Blaming and scapegoating the parent as 'neurotic and over-anxious'

Respecting parents' expertise in their own lives

Communications which allow for compassion, warmth and commitment

What do practitioners require to 'flow' in their communications?

Where does the solution lie?

Supervision as a 'thinking space'

8. Empathy and communication

Empathy in the workplace

Colleague empathy

What is empathy?

We develop empathy through experiencing it

Professional attachment relationships with parents

Offering an overwhelmed mother a sensitive response in a supportive environment

Young first-time mothers

Nurturing parents

9. Dealing with difficulty

Biting and other behavioural problems

The child who is ill

The unpleasant letter

Ofsted

Special educational needs

The responsibility of those working in the Early Years

10. Concluding thoughts: parents, practitioners and playfulness

Appendix: training workshop exercises

Individual exercises

Pair work

Small group practice

Group observation

References and further reading

Index